A cup of coffee

From www.douweegbertscoffeesystems.com

I know most of my writing is fueled by gratitude...as a way of communing with all of those people whose words have made me leap out of my own head a little—who have brought me to another shore with the shock of recognition.

I feel very alone right now, but then I read something like The Mother Knot and I know myself again, outside of myself, created and narrated through someone else’s words.

The book itself, solid and smooth in my hand, pages gently flapping in the breeze—the book is a testament to the possibilities of my nascent dreams. The book was also stolen from hours of intermittent infant sleep, one ear trained on the half opened door that seemed to breathe with the charge inside. The fingers flew over the typewriter, racing each one of those breaths until the inevitable wail of wakefulness brought an end to creation for that one day. I’m sure it dragged on, pulled out and pushed into corners of the closet, out of the baby’s toddling reach. I’m sure it was patted, growing heavy with symbolism, carrying the author’s entire sense of self in its disheveled papers.

But she finished it, and she published it, the book that curled around granted minutes and chanted nursery rhymes, and came together through the author’s stubborn determination to write herself into existence even as everyone around her waited for her to surrender, one lone drop into the sea of motherhood. And she finished it, and she published it, and thirty years later, I take it as a hand pulling me forward into the life I know I can create, the self I know I can express.

And so I write, and add my humble "thank you" to the Fates that placed a pearl of encouragement in my path.
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It might be insanity, it might be some serious windmill tilting, but I have decided to attempt National Novel Writing Month this year. I love the grand celebration of it all, and the sheer force of all of those novels being born at the same time has already managed to pull one (very, very, very rough and unformed) first baby draft out of me.

Last time, I chose to finish the story in the allotted words, something that lead to some very skimpy scenes and plotlines, and since then I’ve discovered it’s easier to take things out then go back later and add them. So...I probably won’t be finishing my story in the 50K, but I hope to have a strong foundation for continuing.

Any pointers on developing and outlining a long form plot? I have a very vague idea of my character’s history and various conflicts right now, but I’m having trouble coming up with scenes. Any authors that you can recommend that do this especially well?

Anyone else doing this?
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From freewillastrology:

"When East Timor gained its independence from Indonesia after a long, bloody struggle, the United Nations temporarily took control of the new nation, inundating it with aid and support. But the international agency's work was short-lived, lasting just three years, and ultimately became known as Quickfixville. The errors resulting from its hurried efforts have been hard to undo. Don't make a similar gaffe in the coming weeks, Gemini. It's not enough merely to have good intentions. Be deliberate and thorough as you undertake your corrective actions."

I’ve lived in Quickfixville for most of my life. I adore beginning new projects, the more comprehensive, the better. Perhaps that’s why I enjoyed my pregnancy so much—so much ritual, so much preparation! And I could still get some sleep.

I love looking at my bulging bookshelves, love pulling down my psychology books and my writing books and my creativity books. I have a sizable collection. And yet...even when I do the exercises, for the most part, I fail to follow through and take the necessary actions that will bring about ACTUAL change. Why is that? Am I in love with the idea of change, but not the change itself? Am I just lazy? Is long term change just not sexy enough for me, and I give up because it’s all just taking too damn long?
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This was a somewhat disjointed post—today my desire just to write anything at all was not wed with anything resembling a deep thought.

I send you all delicious coffee (or tea, if you prefer).