Saturday, May 06, 2006

Sunday Scribblings--My Shoes

I should have known they were up to something, after sitting shoved behind suitcases and choked by loose threads and dust. My shoes aren't shy--if anything, they're puffed up, preening, gushing from the moment they wink at me in the store. I've been the same shoe size for years, so my shoes and I...we've been through a lot of living.

Until recently. My new life doesn't exactly call for a shoe collection, and for the longest time I couldn't even SEE my feet.
Like Cinderella, maybe the shoes are the first place to start. I don't need to be a stepsister--I don't need to chop bits of my feet to fit in them. But maybe I've done it anyway, and maybe that's the trouble.

They've started sneaking out of the closet lately, tripping me up in the oddest places, in the dark. Beseeching.

They're tired of it. So they're speaking out, and this is what they want to say.


What happened to you, girl? A year is a long time to go without the pleasures we can bring.

The swish and swirl of sari fabric, like sea mist on your bare skin, brushing against your bare toes, encased in heels that would make Cinderella stare longingly--shoes that are whimsy and imagination and myth. Romance and chiffon rise around you like incense smoke. Love sings low like the ocean’s moan. Feeling like an exotic adventuress in that foreign land, your skin.

The click on the marble floors that is confidence, echoing that you are someone; you ARE someone as they trail your story down the passageway. You walk with purpose, professional and grasping for the world. Only sensible black work pumps can cause that sway and stroll, that extra step down like an exclamation point. You ARE someone.

What about those beloved Doc Martens--the ones that proclaimed your tough girl dreams, and that made you exactly the person you wanted to be from the ankle down--artist poet rebel girl? Sometimes the words flew straight under you and over you and through you, and you needed your Docs to keep you grounded to the reality of your life--moving you from the wanting to the being.

And your sassy librarian Mary Janes, pulled hurriedly over fishnet stockings, worn with a black lace thrift store dress. Edges creased with the dust of a thousand salsa dances, the faint aroma of dance club beer splashed careless as you move. The backs lowered slightly from being eased down by each tired, tipsy foot, already dreaming of a barefoot rest.

Those go-go boots turn you into an amorous Aphrodite chick, from the moment you smooth the supple leather up your calf, holding it taut as you slide the zipper up, the gentle buzz a promise of excitement, enchantment.
Of midnight movies and the rough feel of brick against your back as you kiss dizzy in the rain, amidst pools of liquid streetlights.

Step into these old shoes again. They still fit, though you might feel blurry, distorted. They still fit, in this place and in that time. Step into us. Breathe the cooler air of inspiration and the fragrance of memory and wear the teetering coolness of strappy sandals that frame your feet like art.

A bunch of size 7 1/2s are longing to live again.


For more Sunday Scribbling fun, go here.



Blogger paris parfait said...

Love the idea of your shoes beckoning to you for more adventures! Beautifully-written piece.

4:13 AM, May 07, 2006  
Anonymous beansprout said...

Beautiful! I hope you'll slip your feet inside a pair soon and go on a grand adventure. Be well.

6:47 AM, May 07, 2006  
Blogger AnnieElf said...

Lovely read this morning. I clearly saw them lined up all putting in their 2 cents. It's dress up time again. Go kick up your heals.

9:51 AM, May 07, 2006  
Blogger Laini said...

What gorgeous writing, fabulous memories, and such a palpable sense of longing. And, marvelously, strength and power -- like you're reaching for and grabbing the long shadows of your old life. You're right: your shoes still fit! Those streets are still there to be walked in clicking heels. You're still SOMEONE. You're more than you were before, not less. You're a mama with gogo boots! I've read little echoes of similar thoughts in other people's posts, about the click of heels proclaiming identity, and I hadn't really thought about that before, about the immediacy and physicality of that stacatto sound. Great post!

10:28 AM, May 07, 2006  
Blogger andrea said...

Oh this was so much fun to read...I started reading this and thought, "gosh I wish she had pictures"
...then I kept reading and you created a marvelous image of your shoes with your words. i could picture them all. Fantastic writing!
Nice job.

10:37 AM, May 07, 2006  
Blogger Cate said...

Your writing is so fresh and beautiful! You are empowering yourself with words, whether you realize it or not! You are a word-wielding bad-ass, whether you wear flip flops or heels! I'll be thinking of this post all day! Thanks! xo

10:44 AM, May 07, 2006  
Blogger deirdre said...

I love this call of the wild. Makes me want to love shoes. :)

12:18 PM, May 07, 2006  
Blogger Tongue in Cheek Antiques said...

Sounds like the shoes are coming out of the closet and singing...these boots are made for walking honey!! Are you ready?

1:51 PM, May 07, 2006  
Blogger Susannah said...

oooh, this was delicious - the seduction of shoes and how they want us to be playful again and savour life from their soles - see? when you let yourself write, the words flow so wonderfully. i love your blog - keep writing keep writing keep writing!

*words heal*

3:14 PM, May 07, 2006  
Blogger Living Part Deux said...

Wow! What a story through the perspective of your shoes. You still have it, Sister. Don't doubt it, and don't get rid of those shoes. You'll be walking in all of them again.

8:18 PM, May 07, 2006  
Blogger fern_leaf said...

Wow! That was a treat to read. Like chocolate. I want new shoes! LOL. Really, really beautifully written. I love the imagery. Im sure I will reread this many many times.

8:29 PM, May 07, 2006  
Blogger fern_leaf said...

This comment has been removed by a blog administrator.

8:30 PM, May 07, 2006  
Blogger la vie en rose said...

i love this!!! i've never really thought about all the different pieces of our lives and souls our shoes represent.

9:47 PM, May 07, 2006  
Blogger Alexandra G said...

Reading this made me realize that I have very poor relationships with my shoes-absolutely no emotional connections. If someone were to steal all my shoes, I am afraid I wouldn't even care-not one measly pair of them! But then I read your post and I'm thinking, "Gees! What have I been missing out on?" You and your shoes seem to have had so much fun together! Your writing is so very vibrantly alive! I can't say it enough times!

10:21 PM, May 07, 2006  
Blogger Left-handed Trees... said...

I love that your shoes are taking on a life of their own...evoking memory and possibility. Reminders for adventure are everywhere here!

8:24 AM, May 08, 2006  
Anonymous Jennifer (she said) said...

A perfect and creative way to write about shoes. I like this. I haven't thought about shoes in this way but I have thought about identity and clothes. I should go see what a few items in my closet have to say to me:-)

10:47 AM, May 08, 2006  
Blogger M said...

This is great stuff! I love how you bring your shoes alive.

11:31 AM, May 08, 2006  
Blogger Bohemian Girl said...

You ARE Someone...artist poet rebel girl.

I always love coming here for a good read and a glimpse into your heart.

12:43 PM, May 08, 2006  
Anonymous Marilyn said...

This would be a wonderful illustrated book...this whole "the shoes speak" thing. Loved it. :)

4:08 PM, May 14, 2006  

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