Thursday, February 23, 2006

An epiphany, of sorts

For someone who thinks about writing and talks about writing and bemoans her lack of writing, I realized today that I do precious little fictional reading. Oh, sure, I read the odd novel here and there, and I read a fair amount of them in high school, but somewhere along the way, nonfiction became my reading material of choice. A glance at my bookshelves reveals: career counseling, psychology, mythology, spirituality, and how-to-write books, but very few novels. I couldn't even come up with more than twenty novels I could classify as "favorites" (whereas I had almost fifty nonfiction books on the same list)!
Now, why is this important? Because how will I ever learn to write a decent novel (or any novel) if I don't read them? It's not just that I don't have time...I make time to read my favorite blogs and I'm also reading a new (you guessed it) spirituality book, the Power of Intention. I sat and nursed my mocha for a while (while my Madam was occupied watching the cars go by...one of the advantages of living in the Land of Sunshine is having a lot of enviable weather), trying to sit with the obvious conclusion. Maybe it's just not in me to write a novel...maybe it's just a goal I had a long time ago, and I keep it around because it feels good, noble even, to have it around. Maybe my true love is nonfiction, and I just need to face that. Ugh, I can feel my insides twisting away from that idea. But is that because it's wrong, or because it's all-too-right? Or maybe it's another symptom of my inability to read like a writer...maybe reading novels just feels like too much pressure.

Or maybe I am overthinking this. I tend to do that. I think I need to take the advice of this Amazon reviewer who mentioned wanting to "follow her lightness and desire." I actually stopped short when I read that, because I do have a tendency of concentrating on the strum und drang of writing, to the point where I don't think I have EVER used the words "lightness and desire" with regards to my own work practice. Maybe thinking about it that way once and a while will remind me that for some people, art is actually, genuinely, a pleasure.

And maybe my dearth of novel reading just means that I, you know, need to read more novels. I may need to add another nap to Madam's schedule (ha! indulging in some wishful thinking there) but I'm willing to make that sacrifice...I mean, indulge that desire. Hmmm...sounds sexier already.

Labels: ,

3 Comments:

Blogger Bohemian Girl said...

hi you.

thank you for sharing your warm thoughts on my blog.

i say be open to whatever attracts you most...try not to fight it: fiction or non-fiction.

for me it goes in phases.

typically when i need an escape...fiction is my saving grace.

when i am in a pensive, seeking mood...non-fiction is it.

so perhaps it's a mood thing?

take gentle care of you, your Exec. Geek and that darling Madam.

in warmth,
denise (boho girl)

1:35 AM, February 24, 2006  
Blogger Yummyteece said...

See, i'm just the opposite... I love fiction, but have a devil of a time getting thru the non-fiction (self help, spirituality, bios) that sit on my shelf for years! LOL. i mean well when i buy them, but they just never get read past about the first chapter.

have a wonderful weekend!

7:29 PM, February 24, 2006  
Blogger Mardougrrl said...

Thanks to the both of you for your comments. And yeah...I can see how it would also be a mood thing, because with the unpredictability of life with Madam, I crave the certainty that nonfiction brings.

Or maybe I just prefer it. I think I need to follow this impulse and see where it leads.

And Teece...I wish I were more like you! :)

11:04 PM, February 26, 2006  

Post a Comment

<< Home