Wednesday, April 04, 2007

A breath of celebration

Writing in my morning pages this morning was an exercise of me wrestling uncomfortably with novel issues of form and point of view and those damned myths which haunt me but REFUSE to get into their rightful spaces...

Then I took a breath, stopped and stared at the passionate squiggle of my words on the page. One question after another--all reminding me that I am a beginner, that I am confused, that not-knowing can be damned unpleasant.

But last year, when I started this blog, the big questions were COULD I write? WAS I ever going to be a writer? Now, the questions have shifted to specifics--about craft, about characters and themes, and scheduling and time and tired fingers. Somewhere along the way, the distant, misty goal became a daily, present reality. Frustrating, but like with the Madam, SO much better than what came before that I can barely contain it.

The earlier questions about WILL I? CAN I? have been answered. I will, and I can, and I AM.

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23 Comments:

Blogger Leah said...

my reaction to reading this post was, "huzzah!" :-) (that's sort of a hip, hip, hooray in case that's not clear.)

4:37 PM, April 04, 2007  
Blogger Tori said...

It is wonderful to read that you are affirming yourself as a writer.
I truly enjoy your words and am glad that you write!

5:38 PM, April 04, 2007  
Blogger deirdre said...

I love the confidence in this post.

10:04 PM, April 04, 2007  
Anonymous bella said...

This made me feel so good! For me, and for you!

11:32 PM, April 04, 2007  
Blogger Bohemian Mom said...

YES!!! I love this post.
Yay for you!
Writers write!
You are a writer!
So am I!!
We ROCK!!!

8:31 AM, April 05, 2007  
Blogger Rach said...

Well done for the positive affirmations. Keep them up

10:58 AM, April 05, 2007  
Blogger Ally Bean said...

I'm glad to see you refer to yourself as a writer. You're headed in the right direction and now that you've proved to yourself that you can write, you will write. Right?! :-)

4:22 PM, April 05, 2007  
Anonymous Frida said...

Yes! You did, you are and you can. You rock!

11:39 PM, April 05, 2007  
Blogger Susan Abraham said...

Hi Mardou...wonderful you!
I never thought you once a beginner...not from the smooth deft way you construct your posts as a writer and I still remember having 2 pieces of your fiction here - I commented on those - they read like they had been crafted by a skilled writer.
You can and you will. As you tackle your novel for instance, you will feel a surreal sense of it taking you on a completely different journey and that strange knowledge that your book is growing. You will literally feel it happening, if you haven't already. :-)

4:56 AM, April 06, 2007  
Blogger Laini Taylor said...

So great to hear that!! I've been so grateful to go through the same transformation in the last few years; to realize I CAN and move on to the next part, the doing. Yay for you!

9:54 AM, April 06, 2007  
Anonymous Literary Bohemian said...

Yay! Your living the dream girlfriend -you rock!

2:36 PM, April 06, 2007  
Blogger bee said...

i have looooooved your writing for so long. i'm glad that you have answered these questions for yourself.

10:06 PM, April 06, 2007  
Blogger Jessie said...

these words are EXHILARATING!!! oh, i love the image of you making this realization! i'm celebrating with you! :)

8:06 AM, April 07, 2007  
Blogger Gypsy Purple said...

Wishing you and your family a happy and blessed Easter

11:21 AM, April 07, 2007  
Blogger Elizabeth said...

Hip Hip Hurray! Feel all chuffed-to-bits and happy for you :-)
Just reading this post made me feel that all Is possible, and renewed my optimism. Thanks!
Happy Easter, Lizzi

4:30 PM, April 07, 2007  
Blogger kate said...

Bravo! This is exactly right. It's so important to take the time to regularly acknowledge how far you've come. (I am speaking, also, to myself here. This post has been a much-needed reminder for me.)

5:32 PM, April 07, 2007  
Blogger Maddy said...

You ARE!!

and you are inspiring me with your
perfect outlook - inwards.

hugs!
( i am off to print this out and put on my
magnet board)

5:45 PM, April 07, 2007  
Blogger The Dream said...

the happy dance of words - you ARE a writer, a STRONG writer, without question. there are so many times i visit your blog and find myself completely blown away ... so much so, in fact, that i can't even begin to formulate suitable comments. please know that i am among your visitors and your fans.

peace.

9:09 AM, April 09, 2007  
Anonymous Jennifer (she said) said...

Your words are so refreshing today. All of the confidence and positive thinking feels good to me today, so thank you. I needed that :-)

10:45 AM, April 11, 2007  
Anonymous Marilyn said...

Good for you!!

12:30 AM, April 12, 2007  
Blogger Amber said...

I went and listend to Anne Lamott speak this week. I wish you could have heard her talk about how HARD it was for her to write...ANYthing! She really made me laugh, and feel tons better about myself. lol!

Just write. You are meant to!

;)

2:45 PM, April 12, 2007  
Blogger Yummyteece said...

WHOOO HOO! What an empowering and wonderful post! Yay. :)

12:42 PM, April 13, 2007  
Blogger Riggwelter said...

You go for it girl!!!!

1:13 AM, April 14, 2007  

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