Finding Water, Check in, Week 6

I had to take Madam to the doctor today because of something called "Nursemaid's Elbow". We were playing around and then I heard a small sickening little "crack, crack" followed by her wailing. I thought maybe it was just like when you crack your knuckles or something, but grew concerned when nursing, Wonder Pets, nothing could stop her crying. And every movement seemed to be causing her pain.

It snapped back into place by itself right before we got to the doctor. She's fine now, thank goodness. I'm the one feeling a little weak-kneed. I could have broken my adored little Madam's arm.

So, this is my public service announcement. If you are playing rough with an under-three year old, please do not yank on his/her arm.

Onward to the check in...
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About four years ago, my eldest sister (Lawyer Sister, aka the Happy Pagan) and I went to Omega to attend a workshop with Julia Cameron. Upon the end of the workshop, my sister commented, “I don’t know. I liked it, but I guess I thought creative people would be happier. More together, somehow.”

Her words drifted back into my mind this week, after reading another difficult chapter of Finding Water. J.C. was obviously going through something of a depression while writing this, and I find myself both comforted by the fact that she could still produce something while in that state, and feeling like I want to flee her. Which is my long way of explaining that I didn’t really do many of the exercises in this chapter, since I only skimmed it once.

One of things I DID do, and in fact do all of the time, was re-read a favorite children’s book—my Artist’s Date. While growing up, this book, and the others in this series, were fantasies for me. I had forgotten how very much I wanted to perform as a kid—to be outstanding in such a physical way. I think its because acting, dancing, singing, painting are so OBVIOUSLY themselves. Whereas writing…well, you could be doing your homework, writing a letter, typing “the quick brown fox jumped over the lazy dog” again and again. The other arts have legitimacy in my dramatic family that writing doesn’t quite command.

I think that’s why I love to blog—it’s my type of performance art!

A quote that caught my eye is “Remember that too much information can dampen the imagination.” I certainly remember this when I’m trying to tell Madam something specific about trees and flowers. I’ve always been a city girl, but I feel the need to know more about nature. Maybe another children’s book is the remedy for this as well.

This week I’ve felt a little inhibited on the page. Still writing in drips and drabs, adding to the novel ever so slowly. I long for one big breakout day, when the words flow over the dam of me, when it feels like I’m on the right track. In part, this might be because I am reading a few writing books while I write. While I think the books have wonderful, necessary information (especially this one), my brain just freezes up when I read them. When I write, I start to think “Is this enough conflict? Should I put the reversal in here? And what about the epiphany? Is it being foreshadowed? Is this what the book means by tension? What about description? Are my people just floating in space? Is this scene ratcheting up the stakes?” And then I just grind to a halt. And the thing is…all of those questions are valid, but when I read about all that, the words all turn into vapor.

So I sneak away and cheat on my novel with the short little pieces (like the one below for SS) and feel happy again. But always, the nagging feelings that I don’t REALLY know how to write a novel. How to learn? The books are helpful, but not helping.

I think I need to spend this week reading more novels. Any suggestions? First person, with a bit of a complicated structure, perhaps referencing a well-known story, myth, fairy tale, or religious theme?

MP: seven out of seven, but I did cut them short (2 pages) on Saturday. Madam was fussy.

Artists date: see above.

Walk: As always, slowly and with the Madam. Once my inlaws come next week (pray for me), maybe I’ll be able to go out for walks by MYSELF while she stays with them.

Yeah, right.

So, since the TEG contingent will be here all of the next week, I might not be able to check in. Have a wonderful, and productive, week!