Wednesday, November 01, 2006

Missives from Novel Land

Well, after spending most of October dithering about NaNoWriMo, I finally decided to just try it. What's the worst that could happen? I would feel worse about myself? Sadly, that's not possible lately, as I've been hounded with that old Black Dog (as William Styron so aptly named it) Depression.

Madam has been cooperative enough to take a late nap (oh, I'll pay for it tonight, but since I already made me daily word count, I'll manage somehow). Is it normal to already hate everything I've written? I feel the certainty of my plot and the opening I've written about fifty times in my head, drifting away. Why are our novels (and our paintings, and our songs) so much better before they've been committed to reality? I'm just trying to breathe and remind myself that it's not about a perfect novel, just about having a glorious mess from which to build once November is over and I can take a breath!

Hope you all had a wonderful Halloween--it was my wedding anniversary. Seven years. Things have gone all catawhompus between TEG and I lately, I won't lie. But in spite of that, there's no other person in the world I would want with me, raising Madam. I hope that once the welter of toddler activity calms itself, he and I can approach each other, shyly, like we did all those years ago, and meet the people we have now become.

And to my Nano Sisters--I'm Mardougrrl there as well, so send me a line through the forums (if they ever recover from the slam of traffic, that is) and let's buddy up.

Words: 3,286/50,000



Anonymous Marilyn said...

Happy Anniversary! And good luck with the November novel.

9:01 PM, November 01, 2006  
Blogger Jessie said...

holy chist! (excuse me) if you've already written 3,286 words PLUS a blog post...then you aint got nothin' to worry about, girl.

i added you as a buddy already. of course,the nano site has not yet recovered, but...

good luck, my dear. i can see that this won't be easy...and i've already decided not to flog myself too violently if i don't become famous through this endeavor. ha!

here's to writing for the sake of writing. :) luv ya.

10:13 PM, November 01, 2006  
Blogger deirdre said...

I'm really glad you're doing this. Your writing is so glorious that even if it could ever be a 'mess' it will be well worth a read. Woohoo for you!

12:55 AM, November 02, 2006  
Blogger Cate said...

You are flying, sister (and I agree with Deirdre--your writing and the word "mess" are like oxymorons!)!


P.S. I think it's completely normal to dislike what you write. I was over at the NaNo forums and read that complaint a lot. As for my own WIP . . . it's rotten!

5:37 AM, November 02, 2006  
Blogger paris parfait said...

A belated happy anniversary! And you'll do fine writing the novel - the first draft is supposed to be "messy," after all.

7:15 AM, November 02, 2006  
Blogger Ally Bean said...

I think that it's great you're committing to be part of NaNo-- and that what you write is secondary. Learning to be consistent in the process can only lead to good things.

10:20 AM, November 02, 2006  
Anonymous Emmie (Better Make It A Double) said...

You're amazing. You write anyway, and that's worth something. And this:
I hope that once the welter of toddler activity calms itself, he and I can approach each other, shyly, like we did all those years ago, and meet the people we have now become.

I could have written that myself.. Or perhaps I couldn't have written it that well, but I wish I could have, because I can certainly understand what you mean. I just keep telling myself that the early childhood years are the most stressful years of most marriages, and that if we still want to be together now, that's probably a good sign that we'll be OK.

I'd love to see you two BTW, but we're all sick sick sick.

1:45 PM, November 02, 2006  
Blogger bee said...

i'm new...but i love your writing. there is so much to say..i can't think of a way to start...did you know that styron died today? :(

okay, THAT was a bit morbid. but i really admire you nanowrimo participants - you got more chutzpah than i do!

7:39 PM, November 02, 2006  
Blogger sophie said...

Happy seven anniversary -
and have fun with the novel:)

7:47 PM, November 02, 2006  
Blogger Yummyteece said...

Hooray for NaNo!!! I'm signed up, although last year, I never got past my prologue. hopefully things will go better for you!

As to that Big Black Dog (Winston Churchill described his depression that way as well).... he's been "hounding" my house lately too. What's say we kick him to the curb and have a great and productive November!! *hug*

7:59 PM, November 02, 2006  
Blogger Laini said...

You're over 9000 words!!! Wow! You're kicking my ass. I guess naptime is going well :-). I'm also suffering from the certainty that every word I write is utterly horrible, but I too am pushing on. Curious to see what will happen!

1:36 AM, November 03, 2006  
Anonymous fern said...

I'm so happy that you've decided to go for nanowrimo, I know will be rewarding when it's all over and you have that incredible piece of writing in your hands...
Can't wait to hear more about it!

And Happy Anniversary again!! (7!)

3:04 PM, November 04, 2006  
Blogger Amber said...

Good luck with it! I think it is very cool to even try...Maybe next year for me. Keep with it! It sounds like you are kickin' ass. ;)

And I can say that having little kids is hard on most relationships. But it gets easier! It is just such a HUGE life change.


11:31 PM, November 04, 2006  
Blogger wendy said...

I could say that I am just doing this novel thingie, as part of a life list project...all cavalier and such...but that would be a lie. I wanted it to be good. I edit constantly..which I guess is a big no no. Now I just want it to be over. But I soldier on. So you sodier you have a knack, no a gift for fiction..and from the comments, almost 10,000 words. I am now depressed. I hope you feel better.

9:10 AM, November 06, 2006  
Blogger wendy said...

PS The seventh year is hard. Toddler stage, very cute, very fleeting, but hard.

When you find eachother again..(the husband) renegotiate. Things change. You're right about that. But the core remains the same.

Keep the faith.

9:14 AM, November 06, 2006  
Blogger (Ni)mo.Ni said...

congr@s on already having done SO much!

i wish i had the (determination? courage?) to commit myself to NaNoWriMo...told myself i had too much to deal with, but really i don't. there're people with toddlers out there, like u!!

and exactly, it's supposed to be a "glorious mess", a beautiful disaster even.

2:48 PM, November 06, 2006  

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